Thinking to get married to a Bengali men? Before embarking on the journey of being a ‘bangali Bouma’.
It is important for women to learn what it takes to be an ideal ‘lokkhi Bouma’ (perfect bride) in Bengal. So, here is the list that goes perfect, if you think to matrimony yourself for a Bengali family!
1. She must have a thorough knowledge of Rabindrasangeet.
Every begali family wants, their Bouma should sound melodious when it comes to Rabindra Sangeet.
It seems like, they don’t have music players and DVD’s at their homes, every morning they switch on! their Bouma and listen to their Rabindra Sangeet!
2. She must know ‘adhunik bangla gaan’ (modern Bengali songs) equally well and sound like Sandhya Mukhopadyay/Arati Mukhopadyay or Pratima Bandhyapadyay.
When these bengali family are so fond of music and songs, why don’t they put music players at their homes?
From Rabindra Sangeet to Adhunik Bangla Gaan, wishes are too high, and these bong families are not stopping at this point, they want their bouma to sing, with enough compatible voice, matching to Sandhya Mukhopadyay and Arati Mukhopadyay.
3. She must cook well, specially when it comes to luchi, aloo posto, bhapa ilish, chingrir malaicurry and kosha mangsho.
Here is the long to go with! A good chef!
If you girls know how to cook Luchi, Aloo Posto, Bhapa Ilish, Chingrir Malaicurry and Kosha Mangsho, then you can ofcorse go with Bengali boys, go hit your names at matrimonials!
4. She must know how to make the perfect cone of Bangla Paan because the way to your shasuri’s (mother-in- law) heart is through that cone.
Yes! not only men, but Bengali women too eat paans, you will always find a box of paans with all the Bengalis.
The art of making delicious and perfect cone of paans, can save you with saas bahu ke jhagdey : philosophy of Indians.
5. She must have big eyes, long hair and be curvy.
Bengali women is world famous for the shapes of her eyes, her deep black curly hair, it is said that they eat fish more than a regular north Indian, that’s the reason they have strong and thick black hair.
So, girls this is the very deeming preference, where the boy’s family will not at all compromise, yeah!
6. Her complexion must be ‘dudhey altaye’ (cream colored).
Go for facials, five a clean-up to your face, and do everything to get ‘dudhey altaye’ to your faces.
This is the foremost thing boy’s family will fall their decision onto, as if they will bring the color chart with them, to select the girl for their boy!
7. She must be feisty but only when her mother-in-law is quarreling with the neighbor.
Bongo family Bouma should have sense, not to be so outspoken with everyone she meets.
She should keep her opinions and views to herself and should heep shut till not asked to speak! isn’t Bengali families?
Why don’t you marry your boys with dumb girls? think once, it’s 21st century gifted with democracy!
8. She must wear her sakha-pola and sindoor throughout the first year of her marriage even while wearing western clothes.
Thanks God! one thing is good, their Bouma is allowed to wear western clothes at least, thank you Bengali families!
Finally you girls, who are planning a bengali boy as their husbands, you are almost relieved to wear western, but still not all your wishes come true, you have to carry sakha-pola and sindoor.
This should not be the problem, our Indian girls carry all this after marriages and throughout life, and this is our tradition too!
9. She must know how to tell fresh fishes from the stored ones, in fact she must be quite an expert on picking fish off the markets.
Yes of corse! Bengali girls can best tell the fresh fishes, they are born with perfection of selecting fishes.
Bouma should have great knowledge to pick the best fishes and then you can make your in-laws happy by even serving them with fish curry!
10. She must have a thorough knowledge of ‘phutbaul’ and ‘rajneeti’ yet never open her mouth when the men of the household discuss it among themselves.
What they actually want say is, Bauma should know about football and politics, but she should not open her mouth in front of men, when they are discussing between themselves.
I really need to ask one question, you Bengalis are living in 18th century? India is trying to empower women, you are trying to demoralise them, why women can’t keep her views and perspective about politics and football before men?
11. She must be both Suchitra Sen to the man-child captured inside her husband’s soul by the day and Paoli dam to soothe his libido at night.
Most qualified bong unhitched males end up being mamma’s young men post marriage, who need steady looking after children. To top that if his arousing requests are not pandered to, he may backslide into a sissy crybaby and annoy his wife with rhythmless verse or tuneless serenades of melodies included on Dev or Prasenjit.
If this is also the biggest factor to select Bauma, them girls please watch out where you are giving yourself, should be cautious of them!
12. She must enjoy (or at least pretend to enjoy) watching rannaghar, didi number1, ishti kutum and rojgere ginni with her mother-in-law and dadagiri with the complete family.
Bongs need their Boumas to be taught and stylishly satisfying, be that as it may they anticipate that the same young lady will bond with the family over gooey TV programs. On the off chance that she considerately cannot, she is certain to be termed as ‘self centered’.
What is this? now girls are required to say yes! when they are asked to say yes!, and when asked, should say no! why don’t you people keep your boys bachelors all life?
13. She must be ‘esthetically inclined’ enough to be fond of the films made by Ritwik Ghatak, Rituparno Ghosh and Satyajit Ray yet accompany her husband in plexes to watch films like Bye Bye Bangkok or Jiyo Kaka in the weekend and even watch the DVDs of khoka 420 and Rongbaaj alongside her husband.
A bong hubby can hazard viewing p#rn out in the open however the “buddhijibi” inside him would not have the capacity to hold up under the brunt of disfavor on the off chance that he is freely discovered viewing poran jay joliya or Romeo, in this way poor people wife is his just organization amid his ‘mystery capers’.
Speechless to this deeming and foolish thing!
14. She must never ever be ‘rude’ to turn down the overtures of the deyors (younger brother-in-laws) and jamais (son-in-laws) during ‘hasi thatta’ (light hearted flirting) even if she does not enjoy it but should not be audible before the shoshur (father-in-law) or bhashur (elder brother-in-law).
Why you bong families says directly that you want a deaf and dumb girl who can dance on your stupid rhythms!
15. And ultimately she should not frequent her baaper Bari (prenuptial family).
Bouma going to baperbari for two or three weeks triggers the same reaction in a bong shasuri as ‘ghar ki izzat’ setting off to a strip club. A demonstration which must be limited no matter what!
Dear eligible Bong bachelors from the so called ‘liberal’ and ‘open minded’ families,
To what extent do you plan to be fence sitting observers to your families getting girl in-laws, as though they are picking bits of rui or katla from the Lake Market?
Yours sincerely,
A ‘Bangali’ disgruntled with the double standards of ‘Bong’ chauvinism
