How to identify a Toxic Relationship

Humans were created for relationships. Relationships are critical for the well being of individuals. However, toxic relationships can cause us sorrow, drain our energy and leave us frustrated. A good relationship makes you feel happy, fulfilled, respected and cared of.

Relationships take various forms; they can occur in business, among siblings and family members or in religious places like church.

You could be in a toxic relationship and have not realized this. This article explores telltale signs that your relationship could be toxic.

Jealousy

Jealousy to a certain degree is vital in a relationship. It shows that the person loves you so much that they do not want to share you with someone else. But, excessive jealousy is a sign that you could be in a toxic relationship. Someone who is always questioning your motives because they are jealous can cause you always to be walking on “eggshells.” Excessive jealousy means that your partner does not trust you.

 

Aggression

If you are afraid of making your point because ofyour fear that your loved one will engage in violence, then it is time to end that relationship before something worse happens. Aggressive and angry partners repress your ability to express yourself. A partner who suffers from cocaine addiction can be aggressive when they are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. They will then act normal once they have their shot.

Negativity

There some people who talk and think all the time negatively. It’s like there is nothing positive happening in their lives and they seem to be always complaining. Excessive negative energy is toxic because it spreads like a fire and soon you will join them in negative talk. Negativity drains you both physically and mentally. It can cause you not to start out projects that you are passionate about. Negativity can also lead to partners to engage in blame games with none willing to take responsibility for their actions.

You are always focusing on making your partner happy

While relationship requires one to be selfless if you are the only trying to make your partner glad them you are in a toxic relationship.It should work both ways. If you constantly sacrifice your happiness for your partner while they do not take any steps, then it could be time to end the relationship. If you don’t, you will always be finding yourself been drained of energy.

You feel you are controlled

If your partner is always the one making decisions while ignoring any input from you, then you are in a controlling relationship. It could be simple things like which restaurant to go to, what to eat, which dress to wear to serious issues like having children or buying a house. People with a narcissist personality tend to be very controlling. Everything revolves around them,and it is hard for them to accept any criticism. Control can also take the form of isolation, where your partner only wants you for themselves. They restrict your contact with family members, friends or prevent you from interacting with certain groups.

Decline in Self-esteem

Toxic people make you feel bad about yourself all the time. Since they are critical, they point out small mistakes that you have done and generalize. For example, you spill coffee one morning,and the person responds with “You are so sloppy, you cannot do anything right.” With time, you end up with low self-esteem. This then leads to a loss of confidence,and you find that you no longer do stuff that you once enjoyed. Constant criticism leads you to always questioning yourself. Low self-esteem eventually leads to drug addiction or depression.

Inability to take responsibility

Toxic people have an inability to take responsibility for their actions. Once you question their behaviors, they become defensive,and some even shift the blame from themselves to you. You know that you are in a toxic relationship when you find yourself always cleaning up after their mess or apologizing for their bad behavior. This is often the case when a person is addicted to alcohol,and they keep blaming some else for their bad behavior. If a person refuses to take responsibility for their actions, then it could be time to terminate the relationship.

Evaluate your Feelings

For you to know whether you are in a toxic relationship, first evaluate your feelings. Do you always feel sad, unhappy or uncomfortable when you around a person? Does the person always cause you to be anxious? Are you walking on eggshells when you are around them? If the answer is yes, then it is time you evaluate your relationship status with the individual. A healthy relationship is one in which you feel loved and cared. Your views and feelings are put into consideration whenever decisions are been made. If you feel unable to communicate your feelings effectively, then the relationship is toxic.

If you are in a toxic relationship and you still love the offending party, you can seek help from an honest and trustworthy third party. This individual can include a therapist, pastor, counselor, or a trusted mutual friend. The therapist will provide a secure place for you to express your feelings without the fear of been judged. Learn also to make your voice known. It could be that the person who has offended you is not even aware that they caused you harm. If all these do not work, it could be time to end the relationship for your own good. While this can be painful, it is the best course of action for both parties.

Conclusion

A toxic relationship can drain your energy and leave you sad and depressed. If you are in a relationship where someone continually criticizes you, ignores your feelings and suggestions, and causes you to have low self-esteem, then it could be a good time to evaluate the relationship. You can first talk to the person in an effort to let them know how you feel and if they are willing to change suggest therapy. If however, after sometime there is no change in behavior it could be time you ended the relationship.